Earth is a planet run by small, soft, bald, handicapped beings. They are
pushed about in wheeled chairs by very large slaves (who must indeed
represent a separate race). The "culture" of the slaves consists of
sounds and images delivered via static and dynamic electromagnetic means,
and seems to be preoccupied with the buying and selling of unnecessary
goods.

The rulers issue instructions via high pitched yells or cooing, burbling
syllables. To date, I have not been able to decipher this language. The
slaves seem to understand, though, and rush to feed the rulers, or take
away their solid & liquid waste in white bags, or massage and knead their
flesh — any of a number of reactions. (Of course I have attempted to
correlate vocalizations with results, but can find no pattern — I can
only hypothesize the existence of a great many dialects to this
language.)

Until a way can be found to communicate directly with the rulers of this
planet, colonization/conquest plans must be suspended. Request transfer
to Nommo system for R & R. Out.