I regret to inform you that I have decided not to accept your critical
remarks. I'm sorry I cannot respond personally, but the volume of criticism
I receive makes this impossible. The reasons for non-acceptance may be
one or more of the following:

* Your well-meaning criticisms are, unfortunately, inappropriate for this
forum
* You're a jackass
* You're a clueless geek
* Your conception of my intentions is erroneous
* Your metaphysics precludes you from understanding the material
* You have accidentally included yourself in my intended audience
* The low quality of your own writing invalidates you as a critic
* You believe I would listen to the opinion of, and/or alter my writing
style to suit, a complete stranger, casual acquaintance, friend, lover,
spouse, or deity
* Your criticisms are based on meta-factors unrelated to the work itself,
including but not limited to: love, personal enmity, jealousy, caprice,
mischievousness, boredom, or any number of other factors

In any event, I thank you for your response. Please feel free to
criticize again in future.

Sincerely,

JEFF SWANSON